Dear Harry Potter Characters,
by rose4u
Summary: Dear Harry Potter Characters, I have something incredibly important and even life threatening to say. Yes, I know it is impossible for us to actually correspond much less exchange letters. And no, I will not be entering Hogwarts. Stop sending me those bloody lemon drops, and don't give Gwaine the Firewhiskey, no matter what he says. From Merlin characters.
1. Don't Go

**An! So, I was bored, and sort of on a sugar rush. And so, I began thinking about this... No other reason but because I thought why not? So here you go! I realized just how dry and utterly boring my humor is... Sorry in advance**!

**Some will be funny (I guess if I actually manage to write something funny) others will be eh. Just random blarbs that need to get out my head.**

**If you feel like you could write better letters, feel free to PM me and I'll post it up here. **

**Review?**

* * *

****_Dear Harry Potter Characters_

_by rose4u_

* * *

Dear Mr. Potter,

Hi, you don't know me yet, but you will. Well, if this magic spell is working properly, this letter should have arrived four days before you receive your Hogwarts letter (You'll know of that later). Anyway, I am writing to warn you in advance.

Don't go. Unless, of course, you want to die.

No, I mean it. You'll literally die.

Love,

~Merlin

_P.S. Watch out for bloody owls._


	2. Chocolate

Dear Harry,

My name is Merlin, yes The Merlin. Please tell your headmaster to stop those bloody chocolate frog companies from putting my picture on their cards. Not only are they highly inaccurate (I am not that old!), but they are also really degrading. Arthur wouldn't look at me without teasing me about chocolate for days.

Thank you for your cooperation,

~Merlin, the young, handsome, and allergic to chocolate.


	3. Lemon Drops

Dear Professor Dumbledore,

Please stop offering people lemon drops laced with time traveling potion. We have enough magical people in Camelot, thank you very much. I'm having a hard time trying to conceal my magic and I don't have time or the energy to conceal others. Whoever they are, they have no restraint whatsoever! All they do is talk about their bloody war and _muggles_ and other annoying things that I really don't want to hear about. Not to mention that they're always trying to make me quit my job. I enjoy being a manservant, and if this is why you sent these blubbering idiot trio here, take them back.

Merlin, Sorcerer Extraordinaire

P.S Don't be surprised if you see George appear. He may have accidentally eaten a lemon drop you sent by mail(I can't believe you thought you could trick me like that!)


	4. Indulgence

Dear Fred and George Weasley,

Hello. I heard from Merlin that you know much about exotic alcohol? Because I love alcohol and would be delighted to try some of what Merlin called, Firewhiskey and Butterbear. The names are delightfully entertaining but I have to make sure: the beer doesn't really have butter in it? And as for the fire, I am all up for it.

Please send me your reply by Merlin, along with the drinks. I will gladly pay gold for your services.

Sir, Gwaine, Knight of Camelot.


	5. Questions

**An! I like to thank all the people who reviewed, favorited and followed this story. It isn't much, but I appreciate it anyway! **

**If there is anything you wish to tell me, regarding a topic or a theme, feel free to tell me!**

* * *

Dear Granger,

You're smart, right? Can you help me on something?

What the hell is a dollophead? Is that even how to spell it?

Confused and Angry,

_~Prince Arthur_


	6. An Easy Way

**AN. Sorry for not updating the last few days. I was on vacation with my family for a 20 hour roadtrip to San Fran. After almost getting in a car accident five times, I have decided to never go there again. Lol. Well, here is a small one for now. **

**CHeers!**

* * *

Dear Harry,

You don't know me, but I know you. Whenever your cousin bullies you, point your finger and yell_ Advada Kadava_.

It should help.

Your great great great great great great great great uncle,

_~Merlin._


	7. Worry

Dear Mr. Dumbledore,

So, here's the deal. I am Prince (soon to be king) Arthur of Camelot and I have some inquiries to make. I have seen my manservant write on occasion to you, whoever you are. I presume that you are a mentor of some kind to him, although what I can't see. However, I am writing to you in hopes of figuring out the puzzle of Merlin.

Merlin has been acting rather difficult and strange, much more than usual. I understand that as a boy, he is going through much mental change (I have also encountered this phase in my earlier years) but this transformation in worries me. Of course, I am not _worried_ about the wellbeing of my servant, it is just that he won't be able to fulfill his duties if he is ill. He seems to be keeping secrets, something I am not tolerate of.

So, I order you, to tell me what Merlin's secret is. Surely you should know, for he seems to write to you on a daily basis, saying that you were a friend he could trust. He trusts you and so, I must trust you as well.

Mr. Dumbledore, please. Although it is beneath me to ask a simple man like you for assistance, I must know the answer. Merlin has saved my life on occasion, that daft boy, and it is high time I repay my services.

From,

_Prince Arthur Pendragon from __Camelot, son of Uther Pendragon, King of Camelot._


	8. Decline

Dear Professor Dumbledore,

I must confess that you're letter was very surprising. However, I regret to say that I am rejecting your offer to attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. For one, that means that I will have to leave my time and I will not be able to fulfill my destiny as Emyrs. Two, me accepting that letter will confirm that I am indeed a person with magical abilities and will be burned in the near future. (You're delivery by owl was in front of the whole court after all).

I am sorry (well not really). I don't even know if this is the truth since I have no way of confirming it. In fact, I think this is just a ruse to get me to leave Arthur. Well, I am telling you to bugger off and leave us alone. Do you know how many times I have to save that clotpole's arse a day? Enough for me to start a book or a t.v show(that is actually one of the modern inventions that you mentioned in your other letter that I am absolutely curious about).

And so, I must decline your offer.

_Merlin, a tired manservant_.

P.S. Next time, please use the post! What am I supposed to do with this bloody owl?


	9. Enlightenment

**An. This idea was given to me by x.x. skye13.x.x  
**

**THank you so much for helping me out!**

* * *

Dear Tom Riddle,

I don't know if you got this letter in time but I want to tell you that your mother is alive and next to met at Camelot. She is actually my sister. Your father is actually another magic user by the name of Merlin (don't get me started on how that happened). Have you heard of him? Unfortunately, she had to run and left you with the Gaunts, one of the...er...less fortunate of the family. To say frankly, that woman is retarded and seemed to have forgotten that you weren't her child or that dumb bimbo Riddle.

Please return with your correspondence. I would love to meet my pure blood nephew.

Love,

Morgana


	10. Stealing is Rude

**An. THanks for all the lovely reviews! I'd never gotten much so it's a big, glorious event for me. **

**If you feel like there is a concept that you itch to write, **

**or something that you want me to do,**

**review or pm and I'll gladly accept the challenge!**

**But for now...**

* * *

Dear Bellatrix Lestrange,

Please stop stealing my dresses. And my concept. I had it first.

Kiss my silk covered booty,

Morgana


	11. A Potion in Need

**AN. Sorry for not updating in a while. School is almost coming up and with College apps going...eh. I know, how long does it take to write a short drabble? I'll try to get better at updating (I hope).**

**THanks for all those wonderful reviews. It makes my heart sing :)**

* * *

Dear Professor Snape,

I thank you for sending the dreamless sleep potion through wizard mail the other day. I confess that I do not have the ingredients or time to brew such difficult potion. Merlin has been having such a tough time since his father died. I am glad that I know a potions master as yourself.

With thanks,

Gaius.


	12. Dragon's Call

Dear Mr. Draco Malfoy,

It is time to tell you of your family's past. I have recently heard of your parents' demise, which I am truly saddened of, but I have realized that they have yet to tell you of your true powers.

I am the Great Dragon, but many call me Kilgharrah. My master is Merlin, the greatest wizard known to man. Yes, this means that I am sending this message from the past.

You are the Chosen One. I have foreseen great things from you, young warlock. This, I was very proud of, considering that you are distant family.

Yes, we are related. Why do you think your name is "Draco"?

I will be contacting you more in the future,

Kilgharrah


	13. Chapter 13: Magic be Gone!

Dear Professor Dumblydore

I am King Uther of Camelot. I have heard of you and your magic school from Arthur. He has told me all of the details and I am sending this letter to warn you: cease or be destroyed. You have a week to respond to this letter, or my knights will be dispatched to kill you and your students before they harm my kingdom.

King Uther of Camelot.


	14. Wands

Dear Ollivander,

I have heard that I need a wand in order to enter Hogwarts. Unfortunately, I will not be able to meet you then. Can you send me a wand through the mail? Do you pick or do I have to choose? If I do choose, can I get a vine wood dragon heart string 13 and a half inches, incredibly smart, handsome, rich, powerful? And springy?

Thanks loads

Merlin.


	15. Arthur's Questions

Dear professor McGonagall,

Hi. You sent my manservant a letter regarding his enrollment in Hogwarts. Yes, Merlin warned me about communicating with you, dice I am a non magical person. But god damnit, I am king of a kingdom and I demand to be given details!

Where exactly is this school? Am I allowed to visit?

Where do students sleep? Merlin can't sleep in a bed too large and I can't bear to think of him being sleep deprived. What if he accidentally kills me due to drowsiness?

Will there be enough food? Is there a feast every day? Merlin likes geese and bread and occasional ham. Is there such privileges there?

Is there a hammer pot in every room? Will he be able to get to his classes? Are there guards that protect this school from magic haters? Is there any dangerous creatures?(the questions go on for fifteen more pages)

Thank you for reading. Please enclose the answers in the next letter.

King Arthur.


	16. Me to You

**Once again, sorry for my delay of updates! I just started school again and I have a lot of workload. Not to mention that I'm running out of ideas...**

**Here you go!**

**Thanks for all your reviews!**

* * *

Dear Harry(Merlin) potter,

I confess that I was surprised when I got your letter. I mean, I'm still trying to get king Arthur to lift the ban on magic and you're telling me that you are me in the future? How is that possible? Am I immortal? And please, this Hogwarts you speak of is very intriguing. You must tell me all about it! Well not a lot, since I don't know if that might change time or anything? Anyway, tell me more!

From

Young Merlin.

P.S is Arthur there?


End file.
